


Youth Without Youth

by t0talcha0s



Series: New Earth [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Mild Hurt/Comfort, New Earth, No Explicit Violence, Post-Canon, Scars, brief mentions of self harm, non-sexual nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 10:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7219426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t0talcha0s/pseuds/t0talcha0s
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Roxy Lalonde as told by scars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Youth Without Youth

**Author's Note:**

> S/o to metric for the inspiring music and the title.

Roxy Lalonde has a scar on the back of her left hand from when she was twelve, stretched out and parallel to the muscles that run through it. She got the scar on her roof, when her rifle was fresh out of bullets and she needed to take down the drone in front of her. Her very life had depended on it. She knew she was a good punch but the scar was a reminder never to go without extra ammo in a fight she was already unlikely to win. She and Dirk didn't bring it up, how she had almost lost and vanished forever, but they both knew in their position it was of high probability. 

TG: lmao yeah never bring a fist to a gun fight i spose 

Roxy Lalonde has a ladder of neat scars down her right thigh from when she was thirteen, self inflicted. She didn't know why she did it, she just knew it felt right, felt like she needed to do something to feel like she was alive when her life felt so stagnant, stuck, and meaningless. She saw the way her friends' eyes lingered on them when she wore shorts or a skirt without tights. She stuck to wearing tights after that. 

TG: i was just a stupid little kid yknow?? 

Roxy Lalonde has a faint scar on the back of her right calf from when she was fourteen and first tried shaving. She had found commercials, and movies, and pictures from Jane and Jake's time. Not many people looked like her, people back then apparently almost exclusively had light skin, but back then everyone had smooth legs and there were commercials that told her how to make her own legs smooth. She nicked the back of her legs many times her first few attempts at it, but she eventually found a rhythm. 

TG: idk I just started doing it one day   
TG: makes my legs really soft tho 

Roxy Lalonde has a small scar on right side of her nose from when she was fifteen. She had discovered a wonderful place in her house, the walk in liquor cabinet, and she stayed in there for days. Most of which she doesn't remember. She always woke up with a terrible feeling in her head and she knew the only way to get rid of that and get her happiness back was by facing the bottom of a bottle. She had realized she had been missing for a few days when she realized she first had to emerge from the booze cellar, her friends worried if she didn't send them messages every few days. Dirk would think she got snatched up by a drone. She gathered up a generous armful of booze and walked her way out of the liquor cabinet. In her carelessness and impaired state of mobility her foot slipped in a puddle of vodka and as she came down she slammed her face on the bar. It hurt but she just laughed and learned how to cover it up with her makeup. 

TG: im tellin' yuo this stff is gr8!!!!11!1!11!!!!1!! 

Roxy Lalonde has a burn scar on the back of her neck from when she was sixteen. It happened during a test of her latest software marvel, one that would blow up computers, it was completely devious she had to admit. She ran the software and regrettably did not move quite far enough away, but she can pull the small patch of darkener skin off as a birthmark. 

TG: this shut si top notch programmign lemme tell u 

Roxy Lalonde has no scars from her game session. She finds it eerie sometimes, because she knows it all happened, she's here with everyone it happened with. She wouldn't be living with her girlfriend now if it weren't for the damned game; but sometimes, when she wakes up gasping and clinging to Calliope, she finds the lack of physical evidence deeply disconcerting, how can she know if it was real if it didn't leave a single mark? 

"Are you alright?" Calliope asks when she finds a naked Roxy frantically studying her skin in their full length mirror. Her dark skin unblemished, save for the scars of her childhood. Roxy sometimes didn't understand, she could remember each place a mark ought to lie, she remembers every injury she sustained and yet there was nothing to back up that claim. Roxy's eyes felt tight, her breath felt short, she felt like vomiting. 

"I don't-" was all she could get out. Calliope clamored out of bed, careful not to rip the sheets in her haste, she rushed to Roxy's side. She placed her hands on Roxy's shoulders and felt her breath stutter. 

"Hey it's alright." She said, but she felt just as frantic, she wanted to help but she didn't feel calm. "Come here." She opened her arms, voice gentle, and Roxy didn't look away from the mirror as she fell back into Calliope's arms. Calliope's pink nightgown felt soft against Roxy's skin, but she couldn't focus on that, she could hear Calliope's heart hammering against her chest. She knew Calliope wanted her to be infallible, that she didn't like to see her weaker side because she often forgot it existed. Calliope was all in all a great girlfriend, but it was times like these where she needed to face brutal reality, that she lacked. 

"I can't-" Roxy's words were cut off by a gasp, she was hyperventilating and needed to settle her diaphragm. Her chest hurt. Calliope shushed her and wrapped her arms around her. 

"It's alright, it was all real, you're so brave darling, so brave." Roxy shook her head, Calliope's voice was calming but she didn't know if it were the right thing to say. Roxy didn't know what she wanted to hear. Roxy felt the need to explain. 

"I don't have," she tried to take a deep breath but it came out jolted. "the scars."

"You have plenty darling, you just can't see them all the time."

**Author's Note:**

> Man I am self indulgent lately, love me some Roxy tho. 
> 
> My Tumblr's barefootcosplayer


End file.
